年輕Ｔ認同女同志不夠Ｔ焦慮與協商策略

Abstract

本研究採取紮根理論的分析取徑，對六名曾經有過「不夠Ｔ」焦慮的年輕Ｔ認同女同志進行深度訪談，看見個體與Ｔ婆框架協商互動的動態歷程，探討她們如何詮釋自身Ｔ認同、不夠Ｔ焦慮的形成脈絡為何，以及她們發展出何種策略來減緩焦慮，其認同在這個過程中產生了什麼轉變。\n 研究發現如下：一、受訪者的Ｔ認同是鑲嵌在異性戀二元性別框架的脈絡當中，透過從小「像男生」的性別認同，或是擁有種種被社會文化定義是陽剛的、男性化的特質，逐漸發展出偏Ｔ的認同。其中，希望呈現帥氣的外在形象，以及對應男性的陽剛人格特質認同，是構成她們Ｔ認同的重要內涵，並基於個人生命經驗的不同，產生不同的Ｔ認同詮釋策略。二、受訪者的不夠Ｔ焦慮與其青少年、Ｔ認同女同志的雙重身分密切相關，一方面與青少年的行為困擾有著高度重疊，另一方面又具有Ｔ認同女同志的獨特性，來自於他人評論受訪者不夠Ｔ的外在規訓，以及個體內化Ｔ婆框架後的自我規訓，在自我、同儕關係、親密關係三個層次上產生不同的焦慮。三、無論是不夠Ｔ焦慮還是協商策略，都是鑲嵌在受訪者的生命經驗當中，受到她們各自的背景環境與階級位置影響，本研究的受訪者大多現居於台北地區，熟悉網路科技的使用，且有參與性別社團、性別運動的經驗，她們或是透過性別知識的賦權，或是參與性別社團看見女同志的多樣性，或是在與不具Ｔ婆之分思想伴侶的互動過程中重塑Ｔ想像，讓她們能夠逐漸鬆動心中的性別框架，以及跳脫Ｔ婆框架來評價自己，進而減緩原先不夠Ｔ的焦慮，邁向更為自在的生命狀態。

This research is done with the method of grounded theory. I interview six young butch-identified lesbians who have had identity anxiety with in-depth interview to see the dynamic process that individuals negotiate and interact with the “TP frame” and to explore how they interpret their butch identity, the context where the identity anxiety is formed, the strategies they come up with to alleviate their anxiety, and the change of their identity during this process.\nThe findings are as following: 1. Participant’s butch identity is embedded in the context of the heterosexual gender binary. They gradually develop butch identity through the sexual identity that they were similar to boys since their childhood or the characteristics they have which are defined as masculine or male in the contemporary society. “Hoping to present the handsome external image” and “having the identity of masculine personality” are the important part of their butch identity and they develop different interpretive strategies of butch identity due to each different life experience. 2. Participant’s identity anxiety is much to do with their double identities of teenager and butch-identified lesbian because their anxieties one hand highly overlap the behavior-problem of the adolescents and the other hand reflect the uniqueness of the butch-identified lesbians, which comes from the external discipline that others deem them “not T enough” or from the internal discipline that they think themselves not reach the standard of a successful T. These various anxieties happen on the scale of personal, peer relationship, and intimate relationship. 3. Regardless of identity anxiety or negotiation strategy, they are all embedded in the life experience of the participants and are influenced by their background and status. Most of my participants live in Taipei now, master Internet technologies, and have the experience of attending gender equality social movement. As a result, they can free the gender frame by the empowerment of gender knowledge, seeing the variety of lesbians by attending gender group, or reconstructing their imaginary towards T in the interaction with their girl friend who doesn’t care TP classification very much and furthermore alleviate their precedent anxiety so that they can have much freer life status.